Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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