you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
