I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
