id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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