you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We named our party play list daddy issues
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
