I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
