Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
