Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
