at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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