Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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