Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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