we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
