This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
