Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
