hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
