Me. At least after what I've been through.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize