There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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