I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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