What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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