Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
