walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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