Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
