you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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