she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
