Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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