Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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