I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
