i don't like sucking hair
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
