my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Thank you for not boning my boss.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
