he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
