I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
