The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
