Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.

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(847): View more from Illinois

my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed

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(949): View more from California

Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole

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(248): View more from Michigan

I immediately regret the tequila decision.

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(727): View more from Florida

We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.

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(817): View more from Texas

I think we should have a sex position advent calendar

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(951): View more from California

I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?

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