I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
