You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize