some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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