I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
