Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
