I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
