it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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