I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
