I looked at my own cervix.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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