So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
