3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
