Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
