Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
