The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
