worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm sobbing to NWA
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
