I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
