Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
