I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
