please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
