I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
