My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
