Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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