I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i think my cat just said my name.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
