I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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