Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
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