I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
