Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
