you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
